If you’ve ever felt anxiety or rage surge during election season or a family gathering when someone mentions *that* candidate or *that* view, you’re not alone.

There’s an impulse we all know too well — one that loves to turn “them” into an adversary and convince us that our anger or fear is purely *their* fault.

This is what I call the Adversary Impulse. 

As we come up on Election Day in the U.S. next week, I want to send this message to point our attention at the way Shadow Power loves election season. 

Yes, every candidate absolutely has their own Shadow Power (*because they’re human). 
But that’s not what this newsletter is about. 

I’m talking about the inner impulse in each of us — in you and me — that wants us to fixate on people we perceive to be a problem outside of ourselves, so that we don’t look inward at the part of our own self that stokes a mindset of fear, division, othering, and better vs. worse. (*maybe read that again)

The Adversary Impulse is the characteristic energetic signature of Shadow Power. 

It is the subtle (and sometimes, not-so-subtle force) in our consciousness that feeds on fear and judgment. 

It grows stronger whenever we look outside ourselves for who or what to blame, and even stronger when we believe that we *must* fix or fight others for things to be okay. 

This impulse tells us we’re separate from each other, stuck on opposite sides with no hope of understanding.

Shadow Power is the force within us that craves control, that tells us to fix, fight, or outsmart those we don’t agree with.

It’s like wearing blinders, only seeing the shadows in others, while staying unaware of our own.
So sneaky! 

This makes it easy to believe we’re fundamentally different from the people on “the other side” in any situation.

The main move Shadow Power makes that I want to illuminate is that it will sub in ANY actor in our outer reality into the role of Adversary so that we don’t look at or interrupt our own Shadow Power patterns. 

I invite you to read that again 👆🏼

Whether, a political candidate, spouse, boss, friend, colleague, another driver in traffic, a random person on the internet — it relentlessly points our judgement at whoever it needs to for us to be distracted from looking directly at IT (*our own Shadow Power) honestly. 

Which is the only way we can diffuse its power. 
By maintaining clear, direct seeing of it and how our Shadow Power operates. 

For humanity to get out of our ensnared patterns of conflict, we each need to look at the ways we allow ourselves to damn others and the circumstances in which we give our own Shadow Power a hall pass. (I've written about this before)

As we all know, the Us vs. Them approach doesn’t solve anything.
It just multiplies our frustration, disconnection, and harm.

But there’s a way out. There’s what I call Power that Serves the Whole.

It is the kind of power that includes everyone in the conversation and holds complex realities, whether or not we see eye to eye. This power doesn’t feed on fear or depend on winning.

Instead, it grows stronger every time we make space for each other’s humanity.

Power that Serves the Whole is like a thread weaving us back together, allowing us to disagree without disconnecting.

Imagine that: Disagreeing without disconnecting.

Holding each other responsible without damning each other.
It’s a superpower. 

Here’s where it gets even more interesting: the Adversary Impulse isn’t actually “bad.” 
It’s an old habit we’ve learned to try to protect ourselves, and it thrives in our unawareness of it. 

When we can spot it and say, “Oh, there’s that little voice trying to turn ‘them’ into an enemy,” we loosen its grip. We give ourselves a chance to respond from a place of clarity, rather than reaction.

The beauty of this approach is that it applies everywhere: in our personal relationships, at work, and yes, even in politics. 

Imagine what could shift if, instead of labeling each other as “good” or “bad,” we practiced seeing each other with a little more curiosity. How much of our fear would dissolve? How much of our frustration would soften? It’s a quiet kind of liberation.

Imagine if we could step back and say, “Huh, I wonder why they see it that way?” 
Not because we’re trying to agree, but because we’re genuinely interested in understanding. 

Curiosity is a subtle, radical act that softens the sharp edges of our perspective. 

And in a world where Shadow Power—this power that divides and disconnects—runs rampant, leaning into curiosity is the first step toward connection.

I know it can sound simple, but it's challenging in practice, which is why I help people practice these skills.

So, here’s a gentle nudge: as you move through the coming days, notice when you feel that surge of anger or fear and the urge to cast someone as the “enemy.” 

Just notice it. 
You don’t have to fix or fight it, only observe. 

This simple act of awareness makes space for something different, a new way of relating that’s both powerful and deeply human.

When we understand our Adversary Impulse, it doesn’t disappear. But it loses its power to control us, allowing us to bring more compassion, strength, and presence into each connection.

From that place, we become capable of tapping into actually regenerative solutions.

Thanks for being on this journey with me, for the courage to explore power beyond “right” and “wrong,” and for choosing curiosity where others might choose conflict. 

In this, you’re practicing Power That Serves the Whole, a path that’s both liberating and profoundly needed in the world.